I don't know what my deal is. The wave of sadness just keeps coming. Yesterday I did okay till Relief Society and the lesson was great but, it did bring me to tears. I was okay with that though because I was able to share a special experience with the women in my ward. Today I was doing okay till it was time for me to do a post. Why is this sadness coming so often here lately to weigh me down? Usually I get at least a week between my really hard days but, lately it just gives me little time to breath.
Saturday I went with my mom and sister to look at Christmas decor and it did bring me some happiness. I would think that it would make me more sad but, for now it bring some happiness and calm. I enjoyed finding things for my Kamber tree I am putting up as soon as possible. I have found so many pretty purple things and they seem to suit Kamber beautifully. Maybe the happiness comes from being able to do something for Kamber. Now that she is gone I miss being able to take care of her and do many things for her. So, maybe in some way this is temporally filling that void in my life. I continue to try and think of the things that I am grateful for and load my memory of happy thoughts. At times these happy thoughts come easy and other times it is hard to do. For today to help with the sadness I am running, I have to say that it is very therapeutic. I will be running till my legs can no longer handle it :)