Here we go

Tonight is our first Holiday party to go to. It is a tradition on my husbands side of the family to do a Christmas party with Grandma and Grandpa Greer's side of the family. We get to see extended family that we don't see that often during the year. I look forward to it every year and so do my girls. This year I have to admit I am a little anxious knowing that my Kamber is missing out on the fun of being with her cousins. Actually it has been bothering me a lot, I couldn't even sleep last night. I have tried to avoid the fact that Christmas is coming but now there is no avoiding because it is here. I want my girls to enjoy there Christmas and all the fun family things we do. I wish there was a handbook to tell families that have lost a child the best way to deal with the holidays is... Nope no handbook, we get to figure this one out on our own just like everything else.

I am trying to focus on the fact that Christmas is about Christ but, it brings me a 360 back to thinking about Kamber. I wouldn't get to be with Kamber again without Christ. Kamber is in Heaven with Christ and as happy as that makes me at times to know she is happy and safe, it makes me horribly sad also to not get to see her happy face and that is really hard to take. I would not have her come back to this earth now after being in a perfect place with so much happiness but it is sure hard being left behind. I hope she knows we miss her and love her but want her to have the best Christmas ever!