One Of Those Days, Searching For That Rainbow

I woke up this morning feeling the need to run, escape, an adrenaline rush. I was confused, where is this feeling coming from? Now that a couple of hours have passed I recognize the feeling. It's a sad low feeling. Dang it I was doing so good. It has been quite a while since I have felt this. I miss my angel girl...

I have been trying to figure out what has brought it on. Maybe it is the fact that another sweet angel has passed away last week. I know the feeling that the mother is going through and it makes me terribly sad. Maybe the feeling is brought on because a sweet friend of mine is approaching the one year mark of her child's passing and I know the sad feeling of that also. Or maybe the reason is because I have since realized that to many of my friends have lost a child and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone and that makes me sad. Maybe it is the fact that I just miss my Kamber and it has been a while since I have just let myself just feel the pain.

I should be at church right now but I sit here disappointed with myself that once again I didn't get my family ready in time. We will go to the rest of church but what is my deal? Why did I need that little bit of extra sleep, or so I thought I did. I wish I could push myself harder to dig in deep, deeper than I have.

Today I am searching extra hard for that Rainbow. I know it is there but sometimes it doesn't show up till there is a little bit of rain. Maybe I will allow the rain to pour so the sun can shine again and the rainbow can lighten my day!