It's Been A Roller Coaster

Sometimes life just goes up and down. Sometimes it surges forward and then it slows down. That is a little how I have felt here lately. I feel I have been riding a crazy roller coater for the past little while. Bursting forward and then flying backwards and being jerked from side to side. There are even times I don't even know where I am going because my eyes are closed not wanting to see what is coming next.

School is almost out and summer will be here. I love getting to spend more time with my kids. I do have times that I wish they could be back in school during the summer, but most of the time I really enjoy having them around, though I notice as they are getting older they are not wanting to spend as much time with me, but with their friends. That is okay though I expect that to happen. What do I love about summer? I love getting to sleep in if I want. I love that my girls get to sleep till they are ready to wake up and not be grumpy. I love having days of taking it easy if we want. I love going swimming with them and watching movies during quiet time. I love just having them around!

This weekend Tayler will turn 9. Can you believe that? She is growning up so fast. She is turning into such a big kid, no longer a little girl. I love what a big help she is and her sweet personality. We are just going to have a small little family get together for her, it will be just perfect.

In two weeks we are moving out of our home. With that it brings alot of emotions. In so many ways I am so happy to leave this home. SO many hard emotions are here. We really feel it is what we are to do, but at the same time it is hard to leave the home that Kamber spent the last part of her life in. It is a very complicated feeling and leaves me exhausted. We pray that this is going to be healing for us and most of the time I really feel it will.

We just got home from a little family vacation. It was a lot of fun! We had 3 other families go with us and made for quite an adventure and the kids loved it. I will do a post soon just about our weekend get away! On our way home yesterday we got stuck in traffic on the 93. About maybe 5 minutes ahead of us there was a horrible accident that had happened. Three life flight helicopters were called in, firetrucks,a couple ambulance, and a lot of DPS. We arrived just minutes after it happened so we saw all the rescue workers arriving to help. Not long later we found out that people had died at the scene of the accident. My heart broke and my mood changed for the remainder of the day and it is still affecting me in some ways today. As we were traveling home Ethan said to me "May 23rd is now someone elses July 25th." It is so true, someone lost a member or members of their family yesterday. Someones life was turned upside down and their world has stopped for them. Then as we called family as we were driving home we found out that one of our Brother in laws, brother in law had past away on Saturday night. He had been suffering with cancer for six years. He left a wife and young kids behind. His wife Patty was such a sweetheart to us when Kamber died. I remember her coming over with a small gift to cheer up my girls and a beautiful smelling perfume for me. Sometimes when you are down, a pretty sent can lift your spirits for a while. Again the roller coaster traveled down hill as I remember loosing my dad at a young age after battling cancer for six years. My heart broke knowing how they feel. Even after having been through this trial myself there is still a helpless feeling of how to help. Extra prayers are sent their way and I know that angels are sent to us during these hard times and we are lifted up. That is the only way we are able to put one foot in front of the other during the early stages.

So yes,the roller coaster is rolling at a rapid speed and I would like it to slow down. But during these harder times I can see Heavenly Fathers hand holding me in, keeping me and my family safe along the way. He is guiding the coaster and I know that it won't fall of the tracks and I won't fall off because he and his angels are there. He is real and his love is real for each one of us. He doesn't leave us alone, especially when we feel that we are slipping.