Mother's Day!

I guess I should blog about Mother's Day even though I don't really feel up to it, but I feel it needs to be part of this journal of mine.

I got to sleep in for a while before we had to get ready for church. I went into my kitchen to pick up a couple of things so I wouldn't be in a bad mood on Mother's Day. A messy kitchen really bugs me. While I was in there wiping down counters Tayler came in with a big smile on her face and a cute bag with a flower on it for me to open. She had made her present at school and had hid it in her back pack all weekend so I wouldn't have a chance to see it before the special day. She made the cutest pens with flowers on the top. These flower pens were in a pot with some greenery and a sign that had a cute little poem. Tayler did a great job on her gift and it was perfect, it actually brought tears to my eyes and she was so excited.

Kylie had expressed the night before how much she did not like her teacher at school. She was really upset that her teacher didn't let them make Mother's Day gifts. This was the first year for that and why her teacher decided not to, I don't know. I told Kylie that it was fine and that the best gift from her would be a hug and being kind. I think she accepted that until she saw Tayler giving me a gift. So that morning Kylie went in and cutout a paper heart and wrote a sweet little note. Then she got a brown bag and grabbed a toothbrush, toothpaste, hand sanitizer, and sour patch kids candy, which she knows is one of my favorites. These are all things we have at the house but she had fun putting it together and giving it to me and of course I loved the present just because she thought of me!

Brookie actually was a little sinker in the morning, but she brightened up as the day went on. Ethan gave me a... BIG HUGE ... HUG. He had been asking me all week what I would like for Mother's Day and my reply was nothing just help out with the kids and maybe I'll take a little nap. I was serious about getting nothing, I just don't need things, honestly just his love and later a shoulder to cry on. Last year was really hard on me. It was my first Mother's Day with out Kamber and I was in the toilet. I really didn't know how I was to live through that week prior or that day. I was a wreck. Ethan actually went out last year and bought me a beautiful ring that had Kamber's birthstone in it. He knew my heart was broken and he wanted to give me something special that I could cherish forever. It didn't fix all my emotions but I wear it all the time, keeping a piece of Kamber close to my heart.

So this year I wore my jewelry and Kamber was on my mind. Emotions were close to the surface but this year instead of being devastated I knew I would endure and focused on what is now. I have 3 of my sweet little girls here, one close by in heaven, and a little boy waiting to come and it brought a sense of peace and some happiness that surprised me.

We went to church and I could feel the tears close by, but I was able to fight them off. After sacrament we changed and raced to see my mom before she had to go to church, then left and ate lunch at home and then went out to Ethan's parents home to see his mom and grandma. By this time of day I was tired from fighting emotions and yes crying at one point during to day, but it was good to let out some of that built up energy. I couldn't wait to get home and put this day, which was good, mostly happy, and better than expected behind me.

I hope everyone had a great mother's Day and that my mom and mother in-law know how much we love and appreciate them!