Going out of Town

We are attempting to go on our first trip out of town. I agreed to it not thinking anything of it. Well the human body is amazing. I have had anxiety like you would not believe. It is really hard on me to pack since this is exactly the thing I was doing the day Kamber passed away. It all seems too real and my body is definitely recognizing it. My mind keeps telling me that last time I was going through this motion it made for a bad outcome. I know this is something I need to fight through or we will never go anywhere. My emotions are raw knowing Kamber should be with us and she is not. This is a moment it just does not seem fair. Kamber loved going on family vacations and she is part of what made them so much fun! My heart is so torn, this means a lot to my family especially my girls to take them and enjoy life, but on the other side my heart is breaking knowing we are missing one. Anyways, off we go and I know all will be okay, life has to go on, if not for me, for my girls and that is what keeps me going.