Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Not wanting to
I feel I need to go ahead and post even though I don't want to. I am starting to notice a pattern in my posts for the past week and it has been mostly sad. Part of me feels bad that my posts have been so sad and I know that there are many that may come to my blog to get some inspiration and I don't feel here lately that I have much to give. We have hit the 3 months mark and Halloween is right around the corner. Up until now I didn't think Halloween was going to have much of an effect on me, but it is. The tears seem to be coming more easily and sadness has been enveloping me more often. The little things in life have seemed to be harder to deal with. So I post today just to have the record of it because eventually I would like to have it made into a journal and something I can look back on and sent down through the generations in my family if they so choose.
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6 comments:
Jen,
Please don't feel like you are letting anyone down at all. Yes many of us read your blog but we do it to see how we can better help you and show our love and support for you. The fact that we have all been touched, strengthened and inspired has been a secondary effect. We are all here for you and your sweet family.
Jen, I completely agree with all that Sarah said. There are going to be many firsts that you are going to have to endure, especially now that the holidays are here. If there is anything to make it easier please let us know. We would love to help in any way that we can.
I have really been thinking about you a lot lately. I have had a hard time this week dealing with everything which makes me realize that if I am struggling, I can't imagine how hard things are for you. I try everyday to think of what I can do to help ease your burdens and lighten your load but I never quite know what to do. Please let me help you. I don't want you to ever feel that you can't call me. We are always here for you and we love you and your family more than you will know.
jen
I just wanted to let you know that I check kambers blog nearly everyday and I am amazed at you! You are so brave! and you have soo much faith, you are an inspiration to me. Dont feel bad that you have hard days! You are such a great person, and your sweet girls are very blessed to have you as their mother! I wish I could do something to take even a little of your pain away. If you need anything I would love to help you. My sister died in her sleep when she was 4 months old, and someone gave my mum a poem, which she now loves, I will try and track it down for you. In the meantime please know that we pray for your family everyday. We are thinking of you, and our hearts are soo full of love for you! thankyou for allowing us to read this blog, it is very inspiring to me and makes me want to be a better person and mother.
thankyou jen Love Beth xxxx
Jen,
I think you would be surprised to know that on days when you only express sorrow that you are still teaching and inspiring those of us who are following your blog. Hopefully we will all learn from your sorrow how much we need to appreciate our loved ones as the veil is truly very thin and we just never know when it will be our turn to lose someone we love. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
Jenn dear, I am not the most spiritual person but I do have a testimony and I have not come anywhere close to dealing with what you have to deal with, but for some reason When we got off the phone tonight and I started to think about the lowest part of my life I was going through my divorce, questioning my testimony, I had no money, was in hair school,but had a very difficult time going so I was behind, I hated going to church cause my ex husband was in my ward and until we were divorced we went to the same ward and everyone in the ward had just come and congratulated us on our marriage and there I was wanting to DIE. Like I said I can't begin to compare,there is no comparing the only reason I tell you this is I was at the lowest part of my life. I am sure with what you are having to go through you may feel you are at your lowest. My mind tonight as I was thinkinking of you sent me to a scripture and I should call you and tell you this but it is late and I have to go to work first thing. The scripture is DandC 122 7-9 This scripture is taking place when Joseph Smith was in Liberty jail 1839. It goes (And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murders, and the sentence of death be passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become your enemy; if the heavans gather blackness,and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son,that all these things shall give thee expirence, and and shall be for thy good. The Son of Man hath desended below them all. Art thou greater than he? Therefore ,hold on thy way and the priestood shall remain with thee; for their bounds are set, they cannot pass. Thy days are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less;therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever. I love this scripture The things Joeseph had to endure and he stayed strong. So many people love you and your sweet family we pray for you daily, and your family is such a blessing to so many people. I love you. Thank you for being open and sharing your deepest honest felings with me. LOVE CANDI
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