Finding Happiness

Finding happiness in life use to be such an easy thing. I didn't take much to make me happy. Well, I have to say that finding happiness in life has just got harder and easier at the same time. I know this might not make sense but, in my head it makes total sense so I am going to roll with it.
Kamber has died and I never thought there could be so much sadness in ones life as I have experienced. Words can't even explain the sadness that envelops me every day. Deep down there is always a gut wrenching feeling that never goes away. So, majority of the time there is not happiness, but at the same time there is happiness. I now can wake up each morning and be grateful my kids safely slept through the night. When they are hard I can look at them and be grateful they are still here to fight with one another, and it puts a new meaning on what is really hard. I find happiness in just seeing a smile, and happiness in a lot of the small things in life, but the happiness is always bitter sweet. Just because I am happy looking on the outside doesn't always mean I feel the same on the inside, it just means I am trying to be happy for that moment and at that moment my pretending just might work. There are three things in this life that make me the happiest My husband, my girls, and knowing we are an eternal family. That is the only happiness that can never be bitter sweet!