No Sugar Coating

My mind has been spinning this morning, which is nothing different. I have been sorting through the things that happened the day Kamber died. It is like my mind just doesn't want to except it and as if I really could have changed something to stop it. Deep down I know I did nothing wrong that day. I actually spent more time having fun with Kamber that morning than I usually did. The fact that I was leaving out of town and hadn't packed yet didn't seem to bother me, I just wanted to spend time with her. That is a blessing of it's own, Heavenly Father allowed me that day not to be stressed out and allowed me to really enjoy Kamber. I paid a lot of attention to her that morning,more than I usually would have since I was packing. It takes only seconds and a life can be taken. So it wasn't because we didn't pay any attention to her, we were just playing with her minutes before she was taken. These are the things I know and have to keep reassuring myself each day.
People have sent me some e-mails telling me how our families situation has changed their life and I am glad it has influenced them for the better. It feels good to know Kamber is touching others lives even after she has passed. Many people say that they enjoy reading the blog and that they like how real and raw I am, no sugar coating. Here is my response to those comments:
That is the purpose of my blog, no sugar coating because this is my reality. The reality of Kamber not being here is raw and real, there is no sugar coating when it comes to grief. I write for me to get my frustrations out and record my true feelings. I hope in time I can look back and read the true feelings and emotions I feel and hope to see growth along the way. I hope I can look back and see how really hard it is and see that I am enduring. I hope I will see the beautiful blessings that have come from this hard reality. I hope others will see that there is a way to endure adversity and know that they can endure it also regardless of the trials they go through. I want my kids ( if they choose) to read and see how much I love them and love Kamber and know if I could have changed this reality I would and really know I would do anything for them to take the hurt away. I want them to remember that we all spent precious time with Kamber just before she died. We had a dance party down in my room. We all laughed and danced together, Heavenly Father allowed that last memory and special time with Kamber.
So, these are the reasons I am real about my life after loss. I want to learn and grow from this experience and maybe others will do the same. Thanks for the support that continues to be shown to our family. I am thankful for all the new friends I have met through the blog that continue to let me know they are there for us even though we have never met.

Happy Birthday Mom and Grandma Greer!