A Little More

Here lately my life has been very busy. I feel as though I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off. You would think that since I am so busy that I would not have time to think or focus on anything else other than what I have to get done. As busy as I have been life has been hard, I have thought of Kamber a lot and been struggling a bit. I'm sure it has something to do with Christmas being right around the corner, doing a party for Christmas and knowing that Kamber isn't here with our family to enjoy it, Hmmm could that be it? Even though I am sad and running around I have felt Kamber around me a little more than usual. It's not that I hear her say anything or that I see glimpses of her, which I totally wish I did, but it is just knowing she is here. Maybe I have felt her more often because Kamber now really knows me well and knows that in situations like this I get really stressed out and usually take it out on my kids or husband. She knows that I don't want to be like that so she is here to help and comfort me. I know she is aware of how I long to have her here with us and to enjoy all the fun things we are experiencing as a family. I look forward to putting up are Christmas trees once the ward party is over to see there beauty in my home, especially my Kamber tree. No one knows how hard it is for me to have to wait to put my Kamebr tree up. For me it is a great sacrifice to let the ward use my tree for the party and for me to wait. It is a sacrifice for me to throw a Christmas party for others when inside I hurt because my sweet Kamber isn't here with us this Christmas or any other to come. It is a sacrifice to endure each and every day but, I know the reward at the end is made sure. If I but endure my prize at the end of the journey will be joy 100 fold. That is something I just can't fathom so faith will just have to step in. I am grateful that Kamber is spending a little more time around us to help us through even though it doesn't take all the pain away, but I will take her in spirit if that is all I can get right now. I am grateful for all my girls and husband. I am thankful for thy Son Jesus Christ and his sacrifice for me and my family.

I am excited for everyone to come to the Christmas party tonight even though getting it ready has been hard. It is funny how hard things can bring joy. There is a lot of stress but lots of enjoyment especially when you get to meet new friends and then see the happiness on others faces as they enjoy what you worked so hard on for them. I really hope everyone enjoys tonight and feels the spirit. I am grateful for my new ward and for my new friends. We couldn't have asked for better people to be a part of our lives. Thanks for all the help with getting tonight ready! Thank you Kamber, Tayler and Kylie for helping out your crazy mother :)