Every time I sign out of my Kamber blog the next screen that pulls up says Return to Kamber. Each time I think in my head if you only knew how much I wish to Return to Kamber. I think it is interesting that the screen says that but, I kind of like it. It reminds me each day to try hard and always strive to be a better person so that I can Return to Kamber. I am learning many lessons through this trial and one is that I don't have to be perfect and Heavenly Father doesn't expect that from me. As long as I am doing the best I can at the time then Heavenly Father will make up the rest. He understands my feelings and how hard this trial is for me. He must know that some how I will find a way to endure it and make it back to him and Kamber.
Having to endure the loss of Kamber puts new meaning on the thought I would do anything for my children. I can honestly say yes. I would lose having Kamber here for a long life on earth with me to guarantee her Celestial life in Heaven. We as a family were willing to take on this challenge just to have her be a part of our family. It is a blessing to have such a special child, though the challenge of the trial at times seems unbearable. You see, sometimes I can see the big picture and often the natural man steps in and puts blinders on and I can only see what is being handed to me at the time. It is an up and down roller coaster and moving to the top is very steep and can take a long time to reach. Just like a roller coaster getting to the bottom only takes seconds.
I am grateful for my Kamber blog that I can write my feelings and have an outlet for some of my pain. I am thankful to have something that I can pass down to family members for them to read and maybe it will be something that can show strength and growth amidst my trials.
5 comments:
I just wanted to let you know that I'm still here reading, praying, and thinking about you. You continually have my support. You are able to express yourself so beautifully through this blog. You writing is incredible. Love ya'.
I am grateful for your Blog too, it has helped me more than you will ever know.
You truly are amazing, Jen. I love to read your blog because I learn something new each time I do. You are constantly teaching me things about the plan of salvation that I hadn' thought of. We love you more than you can possibly know!
It has been a while since I have logged on to this blog. I read that post you did just before this one, I love you too, and I am floored. I will never understand what life is like for you now, but I will say I never thought about how hard it truly is. I always think, yes it is hard, but thank goodness we have the gospel. After reading that I have reajusted my thinking to yes it is hard....period. What a special dream and that is where the gospel comes in, the gospel helps us to deal and gives us the boost we need when we don't know where to turn. You are constantly teaching me things when I read this blog. I have said this and will always say this, you and your family are amazing!
It's such a long and hard roller coaster we are on. I also have had to learn that I can't be perfect and Heavenly father knows what I can and can't do. I've had to turn down 2 callings for the first time in my life because I just can't do it right now with the grief. Thanks for your thoughts..it's so nice to know there are others out there feeling and understading what I'm going through.
Love,
Andrea
Wyatt's mommy
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