We have been invited to go with some friends to Lake Powell for a week. We were suppose to leave on Monday but we have recently found out that our friends get the house boat a few days early; so our trip can start on Saturday!
I have been so torn on whether we were going to go on Saturday or leave later. Saturday marks one year since Kamber passed away. I have been so sick thinking about this day for the past couple of weeks. This week so far has been a lot harder than I thought it would be. Every thing has been so real. I remember this week a year ago even though I try hard not to. The storm we had on Monday night happened a year ago also. When I lay my head down to sleep so many images and thoughts run through my mind even though I try so hard not to think about them. It has brought me to tears every night. My body quivers like it did those early days a year ago. I am exhausted by the emotions. I find myself in the survival state once again each and every day. It takes a lot to get me even dressed for the day which hasn't been happening till the late afternoon or not at all. So with everything that I am going through so far the idea of running away to Lake Powell on Saturday seems like a really good idea. Hopefully it will keep my mind busy.
On the other hand we have lots of family we are leaving behind. I know that their lives have been changed also. I recognize their sadness and missing. This is why it has been so hard to make the decision to leave. I hope that they understand why we are going to leave but know they are in our thoughts and prayers also. As of yesterday we had decided to be here for Saturday but we were staying strictly for our family members but knowing it was going to make it that much harder on us. Then my husband spoke to my father- in -law today and expressed how we felt and asked his opinion on what we should do. We don't want anyone to hurt any more. My father -in- law expressed to Ethan that he felt we should do what is best for our little family. Kamber was our child and to do what we need to and that he thought every one would understand. I am so grateful for his kind words, love, and support that he continues to give to us. Actually, I can't fail to mention how supportive and caring all of our family members have been.
So with that we will be leaving Saturday to hopefully break up the memory of the worst day of our lives. A day that we don't want celebrate, a day that the world for us stopped turning, the day that one of our angels left this earth for a moment in time.
10 comments:
Jenn, I hope you have a fabulous time with your family on this little Lake Powell vacation. I hope you can smile, laugh, talke and enjoy each other. I think of you and your family often and hope that the healing process will be speedy and kind to all of you. What a blessing to have such a sweet father in law and more importantly to have a husband who would think about all those around him as well. You guys are great.
Jen, I think that it's a great idea! That is a beautiful place to be. I can understand the need for distraction. I hope you will be able to feel peace and comfort while you are there. Have fun with your sweet family and we'll see you when you get home. Hugs!
Jen, Hi I am Annie's sister in law and in november it will be 2 years since my sweet little nephew Easton has passed. We have as a fmaily (my sis her family & my parents)decided that as a way to remember my nephew we are going to do a family trip each year around the time he passed so that we can remember him and so our kids will also remember. I hope that you will be able to have an enjoyable weekend and trip as I know Kamber would want you to.
Sincerely,
Kierra Pugmire
Jen, that is a great idea. I know you have struggled with this, and I am so sorry. I can't believe it has been a year. It seems like a whole different lifetime ago, and other times it feels like just last week. I am so sorry! I hope you guys have a great time up there. I am jealous!
Have a fantastic time at Lake Powell!! You and your family deserve to have fun and make a good family memory. You have a lot of people thinking of you at this time and know that we're praying for you too. Kidney stone?? Are you kidding!!! Im glad your feeling better :)
We will be thinking of you and your family on Saturday and hope that Lake Powell will ease the pain. Jen, I miss you and hope the best for you. I think of you often and Kamber as well. Hope this weekend will bring much fun and laughter, Kamber would want it that way. Love you!
I can't even believe that it has been a year. I hope that you guys have a fun family trip. Enjoy each other and remember that Kamber is always there with you guys. I will be praying for you to have strength and comfort. I love you!!
Thinking of you and your sweet Kamber. I hope she is near today, it's kind of like her first birthday in Heaven. I hope today is a day of peace, comfort and remembering and a better day than you expected! Have a marvelous time at Lake Powell, I hope it helps restore your mind. Kamber IS a sweet heart and blessed to have you as her mommy!
Just wanted you to know that today your family is in our hearts and prayers. We love you all and we hope that you enjoy your week of enjoyment and freedom out on the lake! Love you!
You're in our thoughts as well! I hope you all have a great time!
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