Our Body is a Temple

Lots of things have been going on this week. I have had such intense feelings and emotions that I am trying to work through. I have spent a lot of time looking back on the week of Kamber's death and seen the horrible memories and the most spiritual memories that I can never deny.

I have also found out this week that a friend in my wards baby had died. I was hard to get a hold of since we have changed our phone number and the Relief Society President is the only one who has my new number. I guess they didn't think to ask her or maybe people thought it would hit to close to home for us. Which is true... I felt like I had been punched in the gut when I found out. My friends baby had been born with serious complications and there was always a chance of death, but he was doing well jumping over the hurdles. Last I had heard things were looking good, but that all changed in the matter of a day.

I now grieve along with my friend. Each day that she has endured I remember as clear as yesterday those same days and nights for us. NO family should ever have to endure this. It is what I know hell to be. At the same time there are many times you know heaven is so close, you can feel it, it is almost tangible.

We spoke about how much of a clear understanding you get when your child dies, that we really aren't our bodies. Our selves are our spirits. Our bodies are just the temples that our spirits dwell in for our time here in earth. It is so evident the first time you hold your child after they have passed. You can feel their spirit all around you. You are enveloped in them and their love, but you do not feel them in their body, they are separate. You want to hold them and you cherish that time because that precious body is what you took care of. Their body is what you held close to your body, their body is what you touched and what let you know that they are real, it is what made them yours. They are made of your flesh and blood. Our body is our temple, our temple for our beautiful spirits to dwell while we come to this earth and are loved.

My heart aches today knowing my friend will bury her baby, that sweet little body that she has loved and as I did with my sweet little girl a year ago. This is what is wonderful, their spirits live on forever and we can feel them near and know it is truly them and that one day we really will be together again.