Lots of things

There has been a lot of things on my mind here lately. I have been trying to decide what to post for a while now.

The past week I have been preparing my lesson for next Sunday when I teach all the young women in our ward. This is a little more nerve racking since I will have all the leaders listening to me other than just the girls. I want to do a good job and keep their attention. My lesson is on being a peacemaker. It is a lesson that has taught me alot and since preparing it I have been trying to be more aware of how I act and try to be a peacemaker. In doing so it does bring a sense of calm to your life. I am able to handle somethings more easily. So I am excited to teach this lesson!

Yesterday was my brother in laws b-day! His family celebrated his b-day and his sons b-day yesterday since they will be going back to Colorado soon. It was nice to see them again and get to visit with family. I enjoyed watching all the little kids play and have fun. It was a nice night!

Then after the b-day party I headed off to my friend Valerie and Amy's shoe party. These are my friends in my old ward so I was excited to see all my friends that I haven't seen in a while. Amy and Valerie didn't only have shoes, they also had purses,sunglasses,cute jeans,and scentsy candles! Her home was packed with lots of ladies enjoying a good time together shopping. I loved getting to chit chat with all my friends, they are all beautiful women inside and out. I know some of them are struggling with some things right now, but they still had their beautiful smiles on their face even though I know there is hurt inside them. I haven't been through this same trial that some of them are going through, but I can say that I know how bad it hurts to want something that you aren't able to have right now. It didn't feel right to say it to them last night but girls if you are reading this know that I think of you often and can feel a little bit of your hurt, I know I don't fully understand but I care for you.:) Anyways... I loved visiting with all of you ladies last night!!!

So the past couple of days I have been worried. I have not felt my baby move in days when just days and weeks before I really could feel this baby wiggle around. I really started getting nervous 2 nights ago. I did everything to feel this baby move. Finally yesterday I realized that if this baby was not going to make it that it was out of my hands. I drank the huge amount of cold water and laid on my side yesterday afternoon after hours of trying to feel the baby move and nothing. I did what the doctors say to do and nothing. I left for the parties yesterday feeling a little sad, not knowing if I should panic and insist that I get into the doctor today or just wait till my ultrasound on Monday and let what was to be,to be. I decided to just be patient and realize I have no control. I seemed to feel some peace with that decision. Of course at the parties people were asking about the baby and if I knew what I was having. "Monday" I would say and in the back of my mind thinking about how it had been days since I had felt the baby move. Why is it that when we just give up and let things be that Heavenly Father sends us tender mercies?Maybe it is because the hard times make us more humble? But late last night I felt some fluttering, nothing like I had felt before but some hope that it wasn't gas! ha ha Then I woke in the middle of the night for my ritual potty time and I felt stronger movements and then again this morning. What a relief, my baby was just playing hide and seek. I am so thankful for that reassurance from my Heavenly Father. I am thankful for tender mercies, I have had many throughout my life and it is amazing as I look back on them, they have been through the hardest times in my life. Times when to me my prayers weren't being answered the way I wanted but the way that Heavenly Father intended, but I seem to always be lifted up in some way even though it wasn't my way.