I've been feeling that I need to post, but it has been quite busy around here. I had been put on mild bed rest about a month or so ago, but I can't say that it slowed me down any. I have never had a child come early and my last 3 have been induced early because of having 9 lb babies 2 weeks early. Having 4 kids takes a lot of your time. My 2 older kiddos are busy with school, friends, and sports. Brookie is busy being a toddler and an older sister. Her language is changing and we have to be very careful with what we say around her because she then uses it in her vocabulary. Max is what I would think a typical boy is. He keeps me very busy, wow! But I wouldn't have it any other way. I have about 3 weeks left till our new baby girl comes and I am feeling the pressure and anxiety from it. I don't know how I'm going to do 3 kids under 3, I guess just never leave the house? I have to say that my Mr. Max does not like it when I hold other babies, I have a feeling he is going to want this one to go away for a while. And the anxiety builds as I worry about this new little one. After the death of Kamber I really worry a lot about my children, especially the little ones. There is no guarantee that we get to keep our children here. I use to be so naive about it. Now I know how real that statement really is. It probably doesn't help that I know tons of other families that have lost children due to many different circumstances. These are very special people in my life and I know that anything can take my children from me. I try not to think about it and be positive,but I think it will forever be a cloud that hangs over my head. I still think of my Kamber everyday and wonder what life would be like with her here. I don't know if that will ever change and hope it never will. The day of her death has forever changed our lives that effect us in little ways day to day. Ethan took Brookie with him the other day to a clients house who have a pool in their backyard. They are having a bunch of construction done on their house outside but Ethan and Brookie would be out front. I had to take Tayler to volleyball practice and I couldn't convince Brookie to come with me. I do trust Ethan and yet I don't trust anyone one not even myself. I cried as I drove away from Brookie waving at me with a big smile on her face. Just what if kept going through my head. I know that the chances of something like a death actually happening to one of my children, especially another drowning is very slim but my mind can't help but go there. Hopefully once I have this baby and she continues to grow up my anxieties can settle some and I can start feeling what is my new normal again. So 3 weeks left unless we have a surprise. Right around Thanksgiving so it will be quite a ride, but we are so happy.:)
We will be naming our "baby" Reagan, but we are trying to maybe do the spelling different like we have with all of our kids and the middle name we are not sure of. I had fun doing a poll with Maxton and seeing what you guys liked so I thought maybe we should try it again. So check out the side bar and vote if you would like or leave your opinion in the comments, love to hear your ideas! Like I said before it may or may not sway our thoughts, we will see. Just for fun!
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