Routine

Since our 6 year mark of Kamber's death I have been thinking a lot. These milestones really put things into perspective and get my mind racing. 6 years has proven that we all still grieve differently and that we all will have days that we are just in tears, but life continues to move on and hopefully we are learning from each experience. I've been thinking a lot of my routine in life. This summer we had so many things packed in that we were on a time schedule most days. I loved taking my kids swimming with their cousins 3 days a week and that was usually packed in between two other activities to be at. It sure made the summer fly by. Now school has started and we are on that routine of getting kids off to school, homework, and activities after school. The days are quite a bit easier with the older 3 going to school all day and all I have at home are Max and Reagan who get along very well together. Next week Max will go to preschool 3 days a week for 3 hours on each of those days, which I think he will love since he asks me all day when the older girls will get home to play games with him. He will get to make new friends and have lots of fun! That will put Reagan here with me, which will be so quiet, but good to have some one on one time with her before 2 new babies are here. I think she feels the change coming and has been finding paci's and snuggling under a blanket wanting to cuddle with me. Though I love getting to hold her the Paci has to go. HaHa! So in 3 1/2 months our routine will change again having the twins here and I'll have to learn how to juggle all the newness. In a lot of ways it scares the heck out of me and then there is a drive inside me that is telling me I can do this and own it! It will be a much more busy time of year being it will be smack in the middle of holiday and volleyball season. But I love both of those things so I know we can endure! Routines change all the time. Sometimes it is dramatic and hard like when we lost Kamber and then sometimes it gets a bit easier like now with school starting and sometimes it is somewhere in between like I'm guessing it will be when the twins come. So many people ask how the heck are you going to do it? It's going to be so hard." Mine and Ethan's new response has been " We've been through worse." "So far nothing has been as hard as living after the sudden death of a child."