Sick Feeling

You know that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach when something just scared the heck out of you? I seem to know that feeling all to well here lately. This whole week I have woke up with that feeling, the same feeling I felt this first morning after Kamber died. I don't know if I have been dreaming about her and they are sad dreams or if my body is just now realizing the gravity of what has really happened. I feel as though I might be moving out of the denial stage and really grasping the true reality of the situation. The feelings I have felt the past few months are unreal and at times very confusing. I know I have know all along that Kamber is really gone, but it is like my body hasn't. I hate the feeling I have in the morning, but as the day goes on and I have lots to do I go into survivor mode. I go through the day almost as if nothing has even happened, though I know in my mind life is different. This may sound confusing, but in my head it all makes sense. I don't know what to do or how to make it stop. Maybe it is just part of the grieving and there is nothing to make it stop,but just deal because there is nothing to change the outcome.