I have been told by many that maybe I should write a book. My response is always " Your funny." My husband told me today that as he was showering and he was thinking that maybe I should write a book on my experiences about Kamber. I was totally shocked that my husband thought the same that others had felt and a thought that had passed through my mind but one that I have always put aside. I know that I don't have the best grammar or spelling and maybe sometimes the way I word things don't make sense but, I write how I feel at the time and the way I would talk to someone if they were standing right in front of me.
I have had some really neat experiences and many that I do not post on the blog but, I always record them. I have been told that I am very real and raw about my emotions on the blog and that many people feel it is refreshing. This is not how I have always been throughout my life but something has changed in me and hopefully it is for the better. I don't want to sugar coat my life because Life is Hard. People tend to understand the loss of a mother, father, grandparents and etc. but I have noticed there seems to be no understanding behind the loss of a child. It is actually something that people would rather not even have to think about. Life is different after you lose a child in a very dramatic way. Sad to say but you are treated different. There is a shift in your life and in the life of your family, one that you would rather not have but it is there without any warning.
I have read some books on grief and haven't found any that are really real about the grief of a mother. I would like something that tells of the dark side and then tells of the most uplifting and glorious experiences that Heavenly Father allows a mother to experience. The blessings and the hardships of a loss that cannot even be explained. To others that read they get only a little glimpse to the heart ache but, to the families that have endured this loss it is a validation of their feelings. This would be the purpose of a book, to help others. This is just a thought and I kind of feel retarded even mentioning it but, the subject has come up many times. Anyways, this post is just to get some feed back. What do you think?
14 comments:
I think it is an amazing idea! You should totally go for it. Even if it only helps 1 person - that 1 person would be so grateful. I have no doubt that your true emotions would help more than just one person though. Who cares about your grammar and spelling - that is what editors are for!
Hey Jen,
It's Jenny Hardy, I started reading your Kamber blog a few weeks ago. I have read all of it now.
You are right, when someone loses a child they are treated different. I feel like I am one to blame with this. I don't want to, but I do. I already feel so socially awkward, but then add any hardship and I go into quite mode. I want to be there for others but I let my insecurities get in the way, and for that I am so sorry.
I think that you would do a great job writing a book. I think It would help so many people, me included.
I also wanted to say, that I remember when Kamber would come to nursery class, she had such an amazing smile, and a personality that was unique just to her. She really did have a way of making others feel so important.
hardyhomestead.blogspot.com
I TOTALLY AGREE !
I was just telling my Husband last night that I felt like people think I should just be over losing Elizabeth by now. People don't seem to think you need to grieve as long about a Stillborn as you do a Child who lived for a while. But the truth is, a Child is a Child. Even though I don't have the same precious memories that you have with Kamber, doesn't mean it isn't pulling my heart out to know Elizabeth isn't here. You know ? So I agree about you writing a book. And maybe you could get some experiences from other Mom's who have lost Children. Our experiences and situations may not be the same, but we all seem to ache the same way. Just like you said - no one truly understands the pain a Mother goes through when they lose a Child.
I definately think you should write a book. I personally get on here everyday to see if you have written anything new. I haven't lost a child, but I have been through so many tragic things with a child and reading your experiences has helped me see everything in a new light. I would buy your book in a heartbeat, as I know so many others would. You have helped so many people and you really have no idea how many! I think you are a strong amazing woman and I admire you so much! Thank you for puting your feelings out here because it helps so many of us who would never see things a certain way if you didn't write what you do. Again, thank you !!!
Go for it! I wish that I could express and identify my emotions as well as you do. Sometimes I just feel a certain way and I don't know why. I think it was about a week or two ago I was just thinking how well you write and express your thoughts and feelings. Definetly try it.
I agree with everyone, go for it. I know it could help many that lose children..
I find it interesting that I have read this very idea on a few diff. blogs. I myself have not experienced the great loss that you and so many other families have. I do know that with you sharing your beautiful daughter with the world it helps others to deal with their losses as well as for parents to just appreciate every moment that much more. If you know it will help you deal with your grief and could help just 1 other person ...I say go for it!
It seems to be unanimous!! I agree that it would be a book worth reading. I'd be one of the first to buy one.
Hey Jen - add me into the yes column. I think you would be able to help many people. Don't worry about spelling and grammar - that's what the "assistant" writer is there for! You could get yourself an editor and really have an amazing book of your experience and others as well.
We continue to pray for you to have peace!
Jen - this is Kathryn, posting under Kayla I guess as she is the one logged on to blogger now! Sorry that is confusing!:)
Jen, I think this is a great idea. I love the fact that you do not sugar coat your emotions, but I also love the fact that you are willing the share your spiritual moments with us. Yes, you are human and will have downfalls, but the greatest thing about the downfalls is that the only place to go is UP. You have inspired so many. If you feel up to it, I say go for it. As for your grammar and stuff, do not worry about it. That is what your proofreaders, editors, and publishers are for. I have not lost a child, but this might also be a way to help YOU. Best of luck, and if it happens, I will be one of the first to buy the book.
Jen I think that would be a wonderful idea to write a book! Just look how many people read your blog, not just for something to read, but to be inspired and your words are comfort to others, seriously!
I am so sorry that you are treated different; probably because people are frightened that they might say the wrong thing. I guess many people want to avoid pouring alcohol in a deep forever open wound.
Go for it! That would be so special to have and for others that have gone through what you have to know exactly how you feel. As far as grammar big deal, that's what editors are for. Make sure and add pictures and other special mementos. Maybe a book/scrapbook book. Have you ever read Jenny McCarthy's books about pregnancy and her boy with autism? Talk about writing exactly what you think, whoa! Totally different subjects but she doesn't beat around the bush that's for sure.
Hey Jen,
I decided to look on your blog again. I guess I needed a good cry. Yes, I love the idea of a book. Like I have told you before you write the things I would feel. You have a way of expressing thoughts and ideas. You are truthful and you help people to understand it is okay to be in pain. You keep it real. I would love a book. You write from your heart and when you do that people can feel what you are trying to say. DO IT!!! I'll take your picture for the cover!!!! Leah
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