Remember It Could Be Worse.

It has been quite a week. Monday it was Presidents day and my kiddos were home. I do enjoy my time having all the kids home, but I am finding out that as my family grows it is not as easy as it was before. The house usually looks like a bomb went off when we are all home. Tuesday I got pulled over in the morning after dropping Tayler off at school. This is only my second time in all my years of driving. I was on my best behavior in hopes that he would pass me a mulligan, but it must have been my bed head and funky morning clothing that said I deserve this ticket. You would think that my 3 whining kids in car seats in the back would make him feel sorry for me and send me on my way. Nope that didn't help either. He must not have any kids of his own or I was just at fault and I had to pay the consequences. I tried not to let it ruin my day and did pretty good on that reminding myself that it could be worse. Well worse did come when that night Max started running a high fever and Reagan broke out in a rash that looked more like a burn covering her whole body. So Wednesday morning off to the Dr. we went with kids in toe. Reagan is allergic to Albuteral which she was on for wheezing and Max has double ear infections. Then Wednesday night Brookie starts throwing up and running a fever. Put two and two together and realized that the medicine she was on was not clearing up the bladder infection that she has had. So now we are on a stronger medication that she can't stand the taste of. So its been bad, but it still could be worse. I've been trying to work on positive thinking. This to will pass and we will be on to the next adventure. We are blessing Reagan next week so that will be a special day to look forward to.

6 Valentines and 1 Knight

1. Tayler, she is such a Sweetheart!

2. Kylie, she gives lots of hugs!

3. Kamber, she is silly and forever our angel.

4. Brookie, she always is saying I Love You!

5. Max, he is the biggest tease and silly.

6. Reagan, she sweet, special and the cutest baby!

My Knight! I know cheesy, huh. BUT truth be told he is. He has always rescued me from the sadness that may come my way. He is my shoulder to cry on. Not only that, but he is my best friend. He makes me laugh everyday and I love it. This picture really shows our relationship. I am more serious and he is the biggest tease. Happy Valentines Day!

Happy 6th Birthday Angel Girl!

Here we are once again celebrating another birthday without our sweetheart here. The last month or two have been really hard. I have had some crying spells over my Kamber and I would have to say that it has been quite a long time since I have cried so hard about Kamber being gone. I continue to feel the waves of grief through out mine and my children's lives. Though today we have all done well and been concentrating on her life rather than her death. She truly brought so much happiness to our lives and continues to bring a smile to our face as we think of her and of the day that we get to meet again. Kamber is still very much a part of our family and is introduced to each one of our children at a young age. Brookie talks of her often and as if she has known her, her whole life. Max is starting to recognize her and we will make sure she is a part of his and Reagan's lives also.

This year we have decided to just do our family for her birthday for now on. It has actually been nice to have our own time to reflect. We went down to the cemetery as a family and did a balloon release on our own and decorated her grave. It was very peaceful. Tonight we are doing dinner,ice cream and watching a movie as a family. A simple birthday for a beautiful girl. We love you Kamber with all our hearts! Happy 6th Birthday Angel Girl!!!

Just a Second

I have just a second, so I thought I would put a picture of sweet baby Reagan. Life is good, very busy but, good. Love my kiddos and think of my one watching over us while we try to keep things together. I am sure there are many times Kamber just laughs watching all the craziness!

Hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas! All is well at the Larsen home. We are so happy to have Reagan here healthy! She is a very sweet little girl and I will post her birth story after the holidays. Many tender mercies that day to remind us that Kamber is close by and watching over us.:) We've had some crazy times showing us that raising 5 kids and having 3 under 3 yrs. old can be quite the challenge, but life goes on and we are doing our best to enjoy the ride. Happy Holidays Everyone!

10 days...

It is officially 10 days till our little one will be here. I can't believe I'm more than likely going to make it to the 39 week mark. At 32weeks I was already dilating which is why I was put on mild bed rest. But now my body is taking its sweet time now that we can have her come safely. What a little stinker. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise. I actually have kiddos that are not feeling well and now Ethan is saying he is starting to not feel well either and I think we all know how fun it is to have our husbands sick. Haha! So hopefully I can get us all feeling better before our little girl makes her grand entrance.

Thank you everyone that has made a vote on the poll. It has been a lot of fun getting on to see everyone opinions. We have a few days left, so if you haven't voted yet do so. Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving! With my record I probably won't post again till after I have my baby, unless I surprise myself.:)

I Guess it is Time...

I've been feeling that I need to post, but it has been quite busy around here. I had been put on mild bed rest about a month or so ago, but I can't say that it slowed me down any. I have never had a child come early and my last 3 have been induced early because of having 9 lb babies 2 weeks early. Having 4 kids takes a lot of your time. My 2 older kiddos are busy with school, friends, and sports. Brookie is busy being a toddler and an older sister. Her language is changing and we have to be very careful with what we say around her because she then uses it in her vocabulary. Max is what I would think a typical boy is. He keeps me very busy, wow! But I wouldn't have it any other way. I have about 3 weeks left till our new baby girl comes and I am feeling the pressure and anxiety from it. I don't know how I'm going to do 3 kids under 3, I guess just never leave the house? I have to say that my Mr. Max does not like it when I hold other babies, I have a feeling he is going to want this one to go away for a while. And the anxiety builds as I worry about this new little one. After the death of Kamber I really worry a lot about my children, especially the little ones. There is no guarantee that we get to keep our children here. I use to be so naive about it. Now I know how real that statement really is. It probably doesn't help that I know tons of other families that have lost children due to many different circumstances. These are very special people in my life and I know that anything can take my children from me. I try not to think about it and be positive,but I think it will forever be a cloud that hangs over my head. I still think of my Kamber everyday and wonder what life would be like with her here. I don't know if that will ever change and hope it never will. The day of her death has forever changed our lives that effect us in little ways day to day. Ethan took Brookie with him the other day to a clients house who have a pool in their backyard. They are having a bunch of construction done on their house outside but Ethan and Brookie would be out front. I had to take Tayler to volleyball practice and I couldn't convince Brookie to come with me. I do trust Ethan and yet I don't trust anyone one not even myself. I cried as I drove away from Brookie waving at me with a big smile on her face. Just what if kept going through my head. I know that the chances of something like a death actually happening to one of my children, especially another drowning is very slim but my mind can't help but go there. Hopefully once I have this baby and she continues to grow up my anxieties can settle some and I can start feeling what is my new normal again. So 3 weeks left unless we have a surprise. Right around Thanksgiving so it will be quite a ride, but we are so happy.:)

We will be naming our "baby" Reagan, but we are trying to maybe do the spelling different like we have with all of our kids and the middle name we are not sure of. I had fun doing a poll with Maxton and seeing what you guys liked so I thought maybe we should try it again. So check out the side bar and vote if you would like or leave your opinion in the comments, love to hear your ideas! Like I said before it may or may not sway our thoughts, we will see. Just for fun!

I LOVE this BOY!!!!

He of course is the cutest little boy I've ever seen. These pictures were taken a few months ago for his 1 year pictures. I know he looks older than a one year old. He is in the 98th percentile for height and weight. I guess that is what happens when your dad is 6'5 and has a big strong build. The doctors keep reminding me that all my kids will be bigger than I am. Yep, I know but I love it. I think tall girls are beautiful and I would have to say that tall men are quite handsome, hence why I married one.

Just wanted to show some pictures of my growing boy that stole my heart a year ago. I'm so sad he is growing up so fast.:(

For those who missed the news...

Man Makes, Donates Children's Caskets in Daughter's Memory: MyFoxPHOENIX.com

Fox 10 News Tonight!

Watch the news tonight at 5:30! Our family will be on talking about Kamber's Kaskets. We are excited for it to show and hope it will help bring donations in to continue.

I am so glad that it is over now. I of course was shaking and my voice was cracking which I was hoping wouldn't happen. My emotions seem to get the best of me sometimes. Regardless I hope that the story is done well and people will be touched. I hope we made Kamber proud!

We've got a Birthday in the House!!!

Happy Birthday to Kylie! She is turning 9 today, actually in 15 minutes she is officially 9 yrs. old at 9:20 a.m. I remember being pregnant with Kylie and thinking I would never do a summer birthday again. The pregnancy was hard because it was so hot outside and I was going to beauty school full time standing on my feet all day. I remember my feet would be so swollen by the afternoon time. There were many times I would be in tears trying to walk from the school out to my car to drive home. I found out I was pregnancy with Kylie when Tayler was 6 months old and surprised me right out of the water. I was talking with another lady the other day that has had a few children close to together like us and now that those kids are older they tease her and say they know they were not planned and her response is "A surprise, yes. But definitely not unwanted." I feel the same. Kylie has been a JOY and a Blessing to have in our family. She was the easiest baby that's for sure. Her heart is made of pure gold and she is probably the most lovable child out of the kids. She is always handing out hugs and kisses, I hope those days never end. Kylie is growing up so fast and is turning in to a beautiful girl.

So here's to another year my sweet Kylie. I hope you have the happiest Birthday and will always know how much Mommy and Daddy love YOU!

Now That's Awesome, Humbling, and Brings Tears to my Eyes

I mentioned in my last post that we have donated 4 caskets, all to boys. We do this to help families out during the most sad moments of a parents life. We just want people to know that others care and that they are not alone. It is very easy at that moment to feel as if you are the only one in the whole world who has ever suffered that kind of pain. We want to give others hope. Hope that one day it won't hurt so bad and that there is a way to keeping putting one foot in front of the other, especially when you feel you can't possibly take one more step.

I have mentioned before that I don't know how I even made it alive through that week preparing for my daughters funeral. That week was such a blur to me in so many ways. Looking back I know that I was carried. My loving Heavenly Father literally held me through the whole process and sent me many earth angels to lift me and my family up during that moment. I know it to be true, we are not left alone even during our hardest times. I literally could feel heaven in my home. It was there all around me, but at the same time my pain and sorrow is what I would imagine H#*! to be. It was an interesting feeling to know what both feel like.

I know that so many people were touched when hearing of Kamber's accident. It seemed to work like a missionary tool. So many were taught through her funeral of the gospel. Many testimonies were strengthened and for others it pricked their minds of what the "Mormons" are all about. I think the biggest lesson was of families and that there is life after death. I am eternally grateful for my knowledge of eternal families and knowing as hard as it is right now to be without Kamber that I will be with her again, never to be parted.

Now on to the title of my post. Yesterday in Relief Society our lesson was on Post Mortal Spirit World, in other words where we go after we die. We talked about all the wonderful things that go on in the spirit world while we wait for judgment day. We also spoke about how those who have passed on before love and care for us. They want us to do well and be happy. They also continue to teach the gospel there and that they can work hand in hand with us here. Needless to say that lesson brought me to tears and filled my heart with love and a remembrance of some of the neat experiences I have had since the death of my dad and Kamber. These are experiences that I hold so dear to my heart and they are sacred to me. Later last night we received an email from a dear friend of ours that we have worked with to donate two of the four caskets. Her name is Gina Johnson founder of "Sharing Down Syndrome." She is the definition of Christ like Charity, someone I aspire to be like. She is the absolute most kind person I have ever met. Anyways...she emailed us last night to let us know that the last family we donated a casket to went to their home and had the first missionary lessons. She wanted to let us know that Kamber is continuing to touch the hearts of others and that the gospel is being felt through her and the non-profit we started in Kamber's memory. She feels that Ethan and I play a part in that to, which I give all the credit to our Kamber, Gina, and of course Christ. To be honest, when we started Kamber's Kaskets I didn't even think of it having that kind of effect. I am grateful that it has sparked someones interest in the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know Families are forever, death is not the end.

Love to all and more posts to come, please continue to check to find out about the news this weekend.:)

I know I said the Fox 10 News was Coming, BUT...

So we got a phone call late this afternoon that Fox 10 is needing to put off the news story another week. The Emmy's are going to be on Sunday night and there is a big chance that our airing could be booted off because of it. They said that they want to do a good job on the story and want to make sure that it will be shown and that no other really big stories conflict with ours. I am just grateful that they are considerate and are thinking of these things. We feel our non-profit is important and I am glad to hear that the really do feel the same way.

So next week I will once again bust my booty to get my house clean so they can come. Next Sunday will probably be when it airs, but I will definitely let you know if that changes. I will do another post to let everyone know day and time. Thanks again for all your support and wish us luck once again!:)

FOX 10 News

The Channel 10 News is coming to our house this weekend. They want to do a story on our family and our Non-Profit Kamber's Kaskets. Most people would say " So exciting, I say scary." I hope it will be a good experience and that people's hearts will be touched. There is a need for these caskets. We have donated a total of 4 caskets, surprisingly all have been to boys. We need to keep the donations coming in so we can continue building caskets. One thing I am noticing that people don't realize is that these caskets need to be finished before we hear of a family that is in need of one. It is not something that can be thrown together in a matter of a couple of days. There are only 5 different sizes so we always hope to be able to replace what is going out. Hopefully we will be able to let this be known through our story. So I guess we will be on the news. Sunday night at 9 or 10 pm or so we are told as of now. Watch the news to see our smiling faces. Pray it will go well, these things make me nervous.

We ask that you tell your family and friends to watch Channel 10 News Sunday night. We are hoping the more that watch then maybe we can get a good amount of people to donate so we can keep Kamber's Kaskets going. Thanks for your support!

Eager Fun!

In the beginning of August we went to one of our favorite places, Eager. Ethan's sister Candi and her family came along with us and it was a very fun trip. We relaxed and did a lot of quad riding and driving around the Rhino that Ethan's secretary let us use. Thanks so much Amber-we had a blast! We like to get up to Eager at least twice a year and wish it could be more. Here are some pictures of our trip.


Cand and the kids going for a ride in the Rhino.


Kylie living it up in the Rhino.


Max was happiest in the car pretending he could drive and peeking out the window playing pic-a-boo.


It rain every afternoon and cooled it off a bit. The thunderstorms up there are awesome! Here's Max in the rain.


Candi loves big hair and she is quite the popular hair dresser. She dressed up Brookie one of the days, so we had to have a picture.


Here we are on the top of Green's Peak the tallest mountain. The view is breathtaking.


All my little ones going for a ride. We all loved just cruzin' around.


Max and mom. I was trying to get him to take a nap but there was too much going on and I'm not
the most comfortable to lay on with my big belly.


Brookie also loved hanging out in the car. She was afraid of the quads, so the only time she came out was to ride the Big Car-aka Rhino.

Big sister and brother. He doesn't get spoild one bit. wink-wink.


Oh and these! Yes, these beautiful roses. 30 of them to be exact. 30 because I truned the BIG 30 the weekend before. We didn't do a big shin-dig at my request. Being big and pregnant I wasn't in the mood to travel far or have a big party. There are plenty of years to come to have a big party and hopefully I won't be pregnant. At least I better not be, my body has had enough.

We did how ever go over to Candi's house for a BBQ to celebrate all the birthdays at the beginning of August. My nephew Major on the 4th, niece Tristyn on the 5th and me on the 6th. It was a nice relaxing day.:)

Quite the Ride, It's Been a While

The last post was Tayler about to have a Birthday, Memorial day was one it's way and that we are having another baby. Lots and lots of things have happened since then. I guess posting wasn't too high on my priority list. I wish I would do better, but to be honest it was kind of nice not having this on the list of things to do. I do love journaling and since Kamber's passing have realized how important it really is. Heaven forbid one of my kids or grandkids lose a child, I want them to look back at my records and see how we continued living and be able read my emotions and hopefully it would help. Or just for others to see that we are a family just like their own with flaws, happy times, and hard. So with that said, here is an update.

Tayler turned 10 on May 30th and of course wanted to have a swimming party. So her wish is my command and swimming is what we did.

She had fun playing with her sister Kylie and a ton of her cousins! It was a great day!

As of today I am 21 weeks pregnant. In some ways the pregnancy is flying by and in others it is slowly passing. We have had complications during the whole first half which has made this time a little worrisome. As of now my doctor feels we are out of the woods. For a while there was a huge chance that I would lose the baby, but the problems with my uterus are healing up very well and things are looking up for now. Ironically I had this same problem with Kamber at the same time in my pregnancy. Kamber and this baby have proven to be fighters. I would have to say that as well as you can see on ultrasound pictures this baby looks similar to Kamber, but who knows. One thing we do know is that we are having another girl! It blows my mind, 5 girls and one lonely boy. Max definitely is going to be spoiled by all is sisters.

Just before the 4th of July we headed to Huntington Beach with my sister in law Candi and her family. We had an absolute blast spending a week with them. We hit the beach almost every day and threw in the Swap Meet one of the days. It was a lot of fun and really quite relaxing!

Mr. Max had a Birthday on July 23rd! He turned 1 yrs. old. It is amazing how fast time flys by. He is growing up so fast and it makes me sad. We all are really enjoying every minute with him. He is a very happy little boy and has brought so much joy and happiness to our family. He has been walking for a month now which makes him the first child to walk before a year old. He is quite funny and I think he knows it. He is all boy, no doubt about it and I love it. We love you little man!

Last of the post but not least. Today marks 3 years since our Kamber passed away. Being busy up till this point I think has been really good for us. I haven't felt all the anxiety I usually feel in all the days prior, but I think our bodies definitely know. I have been emotional and feel very numb and shaky today. I find myself fighting back the tears and my heart feels like it has been ripped out all over again. It is still interesting to me how some days it is easier to handle than others. Last year I think having Max made this day so much easier and even today looking at him and my girls makes me so grateful amidst the grief. We really are blessed and have much to look forward to as our family continues to grow. But as a family we will never forget today and the sadness it brings losing our Kamber. We will always miss her till we are reunited with her again. We love you sweetheart!

Some News, a Holiday, and a Birthday

Wow the next few days are jam packed with craziness and lots of emotions. In three days time the girls will be out of school, some news will be announced, a birthday there will be and a holiday to celebrate. So where oh where do I start...
The kids have their last day of school today and are they excited! I have to say that in many ways I am too. I enjoy having my kiddos around, especially when we don't have an agenda to run day to day. I'm sure there will be many times I will think I'm going crazy because they are only kids and siblings have to argue and fight from time to time, especially my two older ones that are so close together. 16 months to be exact and can't believe I am doing that all over again. Oops! did I say that out loud? Did you catch that? Yes mam, we are going to have another kiddo. Pregnant again with our last child. Six sounds like a good number to stop at. We weren't expecting to get pregnant so soon but, as we have found out during these last couple of years sometimes Heavenly Father has a different plan for us. Actually after Kamber died I didn't know for positive if I would ever be ready to have another child again. I know this news may hurt some of my friends. My friends that I have had for a while and my new friends that I have got to know through the grief that we share together. You girls know who you are. To you I am so sorry for the hurt that this news may give you. I don't know what it is like to not conceive when I would like to have another child. That hasn't been a trial I have had to bear. I don't know that pain. The only thing that may? remotely be similar is the knowing of not being able to have something you so desperately want in your life. I can feel that hurt and it is awful. So in that I do, I hurt with you. And to those who have lost a child, especially recently, I understand it. I understand not wanting to hear of another pregnancy, not wanting to see another pregnant women and especially another baby. I have been there myself. The pain of that is awful! So I am sorry if there is hurt. I care about all my friends and I hurt when you hurt. I didn't want your feelings to go unnoticed. With that said I have to say that I am happy for this baby to join our family. My kids and husband are so happy. We have already had a scare reminding us how fast a life can be taken whether in the womb or not. I am almost 13 weeks so that puts my baby coming around Thanksgiving. If I could have planned this pregnancy I wouldn't be going through the summer again, but here we are. And yes I am already showing which is why I thought I should let the cat out of the bag. I can no longer hide it. My body is remembering all to well what to do since it wasn't all that long ago we did this.

Memorial Day is on its way. This is another holiday that part of me dreads. Every Memorial Day Sunday we head down to the cemetery to clean the graves of family members that have past away on my husbands side. It puts a new spin on this trip when one of your own children is put on the list of members to visit. We start at the front of the Mesa Cemetery and end in the back with our Kamber. As I reflect of this day I automatically think of the events of Kamber's death and the impact for good and bad that it has had on our family. Today I was reminded of the Sunday after we buried Kamber. We went to the hospital to bless my nephew Gunner who was born the day we buried Kamber. Annie and Spencer were to head back to Colorado because the Football season was starting and Spencer had to get back to training camp with the Broncos. As we waited for the rest of the family to arrive one of Annie's sisters walked in with her kids. Her little girl was dressed in the exact dress that we put Kamber in days before we dressed her for the funeral and burial. I think my mouth dropped wide open. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Her hair was even flipped out just as I had done to Kamber's hair. You would think I would have cried, but I didn't. Instead I had an overwhelming feeling that Kamber was there. A very tender mercy to show she was there. I had forgotten about that moment and why it came to my mind today I don't really know for sure. But I know that Kamber is mindful of us, even almost 3 years later. She knows when harder times are coming our way and she is there.

The next big thing is Monday on Memorial Day my Tayler is turning 10. Oh my, she is growing up so fast. She is a beautiful girl inside and out. We will have her party on Saturday and of course she wants to swim, so that is what we will do. This weekend is BIG. Lots to be happy for, lots to be grateful for, and lots of fun. I hope the same for you!!!

Take A Picture

There are many times I can't find my phone. Not because I misplaced it, but because my kids get a hold of it. They have one thing they really enjoy doing. My phone is loaded with these and a lot of times I just have to laugh.

There are pictures that are more crazy than these, but I want my girls to still like me after they see this post. Oh, an I warned them that if they take my phone without asking and this is what I find, then this is what happens. Which it is funny seeing these pictures, but 30 of them it quite a bit. Love my girls!